Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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