If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
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