am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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