i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
