Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.

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(530): View more from California

the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo

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(303): View more from Colorado

dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds

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(408): View more from California

You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.

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(315): View more from New York

mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?

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(607): View more from New York

Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.

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(407): View more from Florida

I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.

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(951): View more from California

a victory without nudity is not really a victory

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(765): View more from Indiana

If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.

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