His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
