maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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