ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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