I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
