have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
