Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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