Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
