I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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