Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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