wakey wakey hands off snakey
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
