Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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