I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
