At least make sure they are 18
Why
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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