make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
