I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
