it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
