I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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