hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
