Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
