I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
