Everything about him screamed your future.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm too high and old for this...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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