At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
