How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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