Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
