her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
where are you?
Hypothermia
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
