So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
