She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
