You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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