It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I will be naked everywhere
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
