OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
