you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
