Just fell off a train. Bad.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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