I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
one might say we're banned from that church
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
