I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
