he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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