Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
