We're like a lot better than the average bears
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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