u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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