I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
