Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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