all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
someone owes me an orgasm
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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