It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
