Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i think im in europe. pls send help
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
