I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
