the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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