i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
