He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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